Like a Well Worn Map
April 22, 2009 by Janice · 6 Comments
I carefully folded the now dry painting into half, turned it and folded it again, then again and again until it looked like a well worn map. It was easy to do. Or easier than I expected. I loved feeling the texture of it. The soft Thai paper had travelled far and been through a lot. And now it could fit into my pocket. I smiled. Wondered at the irony of that.
What was this piece really about?
I reread the poem from the paper that had held my attention:
I remember flying back from Montauk.
I was flying the plane,
The instructor asked me, “Notice anything?”
Yes, the plane was absolutely stuck–
Speechless–ecstatically still.
The headwinds were holding us in place in space.
Ecstatically still. A plane invisibly held by forces greater than will. Stuck. Yet ecstatic. There’s a picture. And a concept. I traced the edges of the folded painting with a finger, thinking ahead to the tearing of it. The cutting it up. Feeling the softness. Looking at the lines and marks I ‘d made. Smiling at the spill of water all over it. Now dry of course and fine. A little worn, and fragile. Not whole, but resilient.
Hm. Deep breath.
As I reached for the scissors, I thought, okay, let’s see what still is like, what just free marks and no expectations look like. Let’s see what happens if I get ecstatically still. So I picked up the scissors and began to cut my well worn map into sixteen little pieces. No thoughts but the cutting. Right here, right now.
Cutting up my map.
Yep. I did it.
I can tell you so far that life and creativity in the studio do not exactly mimic poetry, at least not in a straight forward way. Or if it does, someone has a wicked sense of humor, and I want revisions. But we may be a little too close to it yet. In fact, I am still scratching my head at what has happened since I cut it up. Good thing I am not actually IN a plane. Stuck, but not up in the air, well only metaphorically.
But I have had good mentors, one in fact, who is nagging me from the grave. “Okay, okay, Scott, I am still just going with it. Yes, I remember. “After all he’s the MacArthur Genius. It would be silly not to listen.
So cut up maps, a stuck plane and a ghost for a mentor. See not quite poetry, but I am hoping. Now I must get ready for another session of ecstatically still, a phrase I am stealing for resumé purposes to go with private studio time.
And sure, I ‘ll give you a peek on Friday.
How about you? Cut up any maps lately?
A Very Raw Plan
March 11, 2009 by Janice · 7 Comments
Rain is pattering on the rooftop, urging me to be cozy, settle in. But I want some adventure. And lucky me, I made a map. Not a complete one, just one to get me started. One that has the bones of a piece with plenty of room for possibilities and play. Nope, nothing refined or finished about it. Except it has the impact, the desire, of destination already embedded within it.
Now desire is a very good thing.
Yes, even Buddha has to admit that the move to be totally present in the moment, is desire. Being IN the moment, that’s different. That’s alignment. So here’s how alignment is going to work in this piece. There’s a framework. There’s a strong impulse to create a piece that taps into color, line, form, texture just as much as, maybe even more than, it taps into story.
And there’s desire to touch something more sublime.
Strong, willful desire for nuance as much as boldness. For contrast as much as familiarity. For exploration of places that pierce my status quo. So perspective as I knew it, is off the table. Color needs to be pushed. And form, well it may have to take perspective’s place. Already my brush is hungry to trace some new paths across an expanse of white. Dip into magical water with pigment suspended, waiting to be spread. I like not knowing exactly. I like that I can feel my way through it.
Feel, is the operative word.
So within the structure, within the map, there is plenty of intuitive trust. Plenty of here, just let it happen, you actually know inside you what this is already. Let it out. Look what the forms are already suggesting. The shapes the lines trace. Sweet, sweet anticipation. Yes, it is a very raw plan. One designed for exposure. One that could very well fail.
But I’m thinking, it won’t.
If we can’t trust ourselves in our practice, then what are we about? Know what I mean?